Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize