He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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