At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
