she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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