arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
