Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
