It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
