I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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