Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize