Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
