I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
