i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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