he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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