Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
