we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
