i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
