I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
