i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
