i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
