Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize