I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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