There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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