Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
