Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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