Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
