And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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