Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
