his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
