would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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