try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
