maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
