i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
