so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
