I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
