whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
