it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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