are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
