This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
