Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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