I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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