On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
