sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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