Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
