is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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