I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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