where am i from again
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
