I heard we made out
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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