You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
