is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
