I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
