I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
