dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
