this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
