Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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