When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
