So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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