Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
