I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize