If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
