OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize